My Thank You Letter

Don't know where to begin. Have no idea of where to start. These chains on my heart are heavy. My self esteem drowning in doubt. Tell me at what time is being the best man you can be not enough? Explain to me when you wake up every morning with the intentions of doing the right thing (taking care of family, going to work, taking care of home) that you are considered selfish? Gave you my heart. Opened my door when you needed comfort from the storm. Loved you. Took care of you when you were sick, supported you through your darkest times. Yet when storms comes in our lives you decided to leave. Yes mistakes were made. Accountability for my sins I took. A plan of action, I put into motion to become a better man for you and for my family. But according to you it was too little too late. Many nights I spent crying. Many days I spent angry. What am I to do with this pain? Where am I to go when my home is no more? In the lord's arms I found rest. In him my healing began. I just wanted to write you a thank you letter. Thank you for turning your back on me when I needed you most. Thank you for turning off your love when you felt things were no longer convenient for you. Thank you for giving up on me. For it was during my time of great pain that a new man, a better man was born. One that will never turn their back on those that love and support him. Thank you God for never giving up on me. Thank you for allowing me to see my worth. Thank your for assuring me that men that follow and worship you will always be divinely favored!

Shades Of Life

Truly my yesterday is not what it once was. I was a man without purpose. A student without a teacher. A bird without a song. a soul without a guide. Then one day I met Jesus who gave my life purpose. I will never forget the day he called me and asked me to come home. For my soul yearned for him and when I said yes, I hurt no more. My past I felt was behind me. My past sins thrown into the sea. But never in a million years did I think he would reintroduce you to me. When we met I was but a child with dreams of loving you for life. When I looked at you, I wanted nothing more than to make you my wife. But something happened along the way that put us on different roads. I was angry and frustrated that an important part of my life had been taken from me and why I didn't know. For years I searched and wanted what was once lost. I admit, I looked for it with the wrong people. Oh so much time I lost. Finally with my soul discouraged I gave up my search. With my heart broken and repaired so much. I shuddered and cringed at any one's touch. Then one day God spoke to me in the form of an email, someone who had been lost to me for years had been suddenly reintroduced. To think about it now brings tears to my eyes. Apprehensive I was because Jesus was now the guardian of my heart. Never did I realized that you were predestined to take part. Time has passed and our love has been renewed. We are to become life long companions. I'm so glad the lord chose you. My yesterday is not what it once was....